There was a big part of me that was also so curious, determined to experience this, determined to win over the incessant chatter my lizard brain was volunteering. Determined to wash off the last last two years of Covid-19 confinement and numbness, with an experience that would not only push me beyond my comfort zone, but would redefine the very way I could experience my body on this planet. To use all my senses and feel all my emotions.

I remember my swims there vividly, the wild winter ocean tamed just enough by the walls of the pool, the breathtakingly cold water giving me a new appreciation of what it feels like to be alive, the excitement and terror I felt as I immersed myself in dark unfamiliar waters as the sun rose, the incredible energy that stayed with me the whole day.  A place and a time that helped me find my own.

My endless pursuit of happiness kept me too busy and distracted to see what was always in front on me, simply available for me to choose.