The years like waves

For every year I gain, I shed little bits of things I used to own

the words my mother would say when she felt unloved

my dad’s silence when I needed him to speak

the shame of wanting more in a world that kept telling me I could not

the deep well of sadness for feeling I was never enough

the belief in my youthful immortality

my need to be right, thinner, better, prettier, smarter, perfect

the boxes in our empty bedroom when you left that night…..

For every year I gain, I hold closer things I will never own

The sea air in my lungs

the smile of those I love and of the stranger that just walked past I will never get to know

the music in the infinite procession of waves from other lands

my sister’s heart

the salt on my body and in my tangled hair

the wonder that fills my soul when I think about those who came before me for my daughters to be

the shadow and light under the water’s surface just after dawn

all the things I know and that which I never will

how we still laugh and play like children in an ocean where our wrinkles grow deeper…

The years like waves they bring and they take.